Wednesday, 17 November 2010

A very long rant in two parts x

I know the fact that I am sat watching the 'Jeremy Kyle' show will remove all credibility from my argument but the general opinion of porn in this country really does me head in. The phrase spoken by the leader of mindless fools was;

'and whats even worse is that she found pornography on your computer!'

The context is that his girlfriend has just had a baby and is feeling all emotional. Now I have never had a baby but I think I'm right in saying that its common knowledge, that most women have no sexual interest after giving birth. It is equally known that unfortunately the primal urges in men, mean that they can on some small level, feel left out by the arrival of a baby, so their want to reclaim their space by having sex will go up. Now at this point things can go one of  four ways. He can pressure her for sex and she will feel rubbish. He can keep his mouth shut and may recent the constant needs of the baby and this will limit his ability to bond. He can end up cheating on his partner which is a terrible thing in most monogamous relationships or he can have a wank at home to some porn.

Now to me the last option not only seems obvious but surely ideal. I mean most new mums (I know there are some glamours exceptions) look terrible because their body has just done something rather massive and remarkable and will still have to regain its normal shape and that's before you throw in sleep deprivation and a magical crying, sicking, pooping machine. So is it any wonder that your man will want to spend his 20 minute wanking time looking at a well made up lovely. It doesn't mean he doesn't love his partner. Of course he does, she has just had his child, vomit just doesn't turn most people on.

If we take the whole baby thing out of it and we are left with our loving long term couple, this time surely if we found him having a wank we would be right to take him on TV and dump him. No? Someone I know ask me a while back if it was normal for men to wank on there own and should she be worried and disgusted because it happened alot and all I could say is of course they should its perfectly normal, hell I wank all the time (more so in the summer).

Just because someone wants to do it on their own doesn't mean that they are rejecting their partner. I sometimes have to do it in order to move, if I get stuck in a particularly good bath or have to go and do some work and lack the motivation, a swift wank can often give me the release of energy I need to get on. My partner would get sick and tired of me calling him in every time I need a pep up and to be honest if we had to have sex every time I wanted a wank, not only would we get nothing done because we'd be bonking all the time but sex might start to get a little old. Plus there are fantasies in our head that will turn us on but aren't necessarily as sexy in real life or may not turn our partners on so would be inappropriate in the marital bed, this doesn't mean we should forget that side of ourselves its important to always remain true to your inner desired in order to remain yourself.

Finally (assuming that we are all extremely lucky and pick up people at the drop of a hat) half the fun of being single is not only the chaise but also the excitement of seeing someone naked for the first time. It doesn't matter how much you love your long term partner you can only see them naked for the first time once, then you will become familiar with each other. This familiarity definitely brings its own rewards and its lovely lying in bed with someone who knows exactly what you want inside and out but part of you may miss the excitement brought about by firsts. This is what porns for. Web cam models, TV chat sex channels and lap dancers allow men to flirt and play pick up without any risks. They are then able to see these girls naked for the first time and to get a sexual release from it, without in my opinion cheating. The girls in question as much as they will probably enjoy the other persons company will be working, they are not going to steal your man, most likely they have their own who they are perfectly happy with, its just that they also love being sexy and get their rocks off by safely sharing this need to flirt and be dirty. Imagine if all my inner filth was locked up inside, I'm not sure I'd be a faithful girl if I couldn't wank on my own with out being made to feel guilty or web cam with people who can still be surprised by my body.

Rant nearly over. Its funny there have been quite a few porn star rants recently this is an industry starting to hurt itself and no one knows why. As everyone keeps saying there has been a huge increase in no shows on both sides, models canceling on producers and togs letting down models. This has led to many reliable models becoming increasingly frustrated by the huge amount of no shows they are told have come before them and there is nothing more frustrating in an overly saturated industry than hearing tales about various girls letting alot of people down and then seeing them getting a high percentage of the work we need to share out between us all. There are also the new girls who turn up full of potential and you watch them getting amazing opportunities, that you never got near when you first started and then you have to watch them chuck them away I'm sure without even knowing how amazing they were. It doesn't surprise me that girls have started squabbling as this is all so very frustrating. Its no wonder producers are getting grumpier however this feeling that we all have to go on egg shells is not the industry I started in. A few models are trying to sort this out, I have no idea how but I offer my full support. I don't want this industry to become closed off with models making one mistake and being cut off as we are all new once and life does happen but we do need a cut off point for wrong behaviour to try and end the bitterness that is taking away from the wonderful world of porn I first entered and still love.

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