I NEED CHOCOLATE!!!!

I know, diets don't solve everything and fad diets especially can lead to huge problems, including gaining weight afterwards but I hate exercise! Its since putting Bert out on loan that I have got my podge - its surprising how much energy you burn having a horse, even one who is terminally ill and likes to get his head stuck in trees (don't ask) so you can't always ride. I promise I'm not going to take things to far and become a walking skeleton, you read my posts I love cake to much, it would never happen. I just want a bit of a head start as I begin trying to force myself back into exercise, an idea I flirted with a good few posts back and failed to follow through on. I decided to go Atkins as you can loose alot of weight in the first two weeks (and that's all I'm prepared to do) and you still get to eat quite alot, just no carbs or sugar. The first few days were great, I love meat and because of this diet I have discovered the most amazing butcher in Leeds market (first one on the right) who does great quality meet at ridiculously good prices. I started to worry that I might just be eating a shed load of meat and fat and get even fatter but I can see a slight difference now. I just want to loose a little bit off my face (I am cursed with a very round face and no amount of exercising will sort that out) and re flatten my tummy and hips. For the last 2 days I have also started exercising - just a few sit ups and longer dog walks but when I saw Satine yesterday she was amazed at how much more toned my tummy was, I assume all the protein is helping the exercise on its way.

Think of me tomorrow morning I am off to my local lescure center to do my first 20/20/20 class (that's three lots of 20 minute bursts of different exercise chosen by the instructor, so say 20 minutes aerobics followed but kick boxing etc). Kill or cure eh! If I like it and turn into a regular goer I may try and sneak my camera in and give you all a giggle.

Going back a paragraph, just to make sure I have definitely convinced you all that I am not planning on doing anything stupid slimming wise, I once worked with a model who was so skinny she ruptured a guys dick on set! We were filming for a pretend site called I LUV NERDs (I may rant about this in the comment section if anyone cares just ask, I just worry that I moan a bit to much on here). It was a site I used to perform for and later on I did alot of the camera work. I forget the name of the model but she was painfully thin and we were shooting a scene which ended in her being fucked over the large dinning room table. It was a bit horrible even before it all went wrong, just because she was so boney and then suddenly the studs cock hit bone and he yelped, pulled out, and bled! We were lucky in the fact that there wasn't to much blood and the guy against all odds was a star and managed to pull himself together and give us the cum shot we needed to end the scene but he was bad the next day. He later called to tell me he'd had to go to hospital that night as his cock had swollen so much he just couldn't take it any more. I found this all quite amusing as the jack ass hadn't told his wife he was doing porn and its always nice to see liers squirm a bit. - I mean I understand keeping porn involvement from your wider family to save on upset and your boss etc in fact anybody but your chosen life partner - if you can keep that big of a secret from them there has to be something wrong.

Above all else honesty is what I look for in relationships, its the only way someone such as me can stay in one. I'm not your typical girlfriend, I'm a terrible flirt with anything that takes my fancy, I love being a cock tease and do porn which involves me sleeping with other people, something that I think helps to control my extra sexual energy. But I could never be with anybody who I felt I had to lie about these things to, that wouldn't be me and surely the best thing about being with another person is being able to relax and be your whole true self? I always like playing the hot or not game in the car as we drive through student areas and when I have had a very naughty inappropriate flirt its always great to be able to boast to someone about it. Since I started the whole Abby Winters shooting and discovered that I may in fact be a bit bi this has made the game alot harder- it is nearly impossible to tell if girls are of age when ogling! Underage boys all look like 12 year old boys, men are easy, the lucky ones try to grown beards to look older but you can always tell, where as girls! Seriously an old family friend had a 12 year old daughter and she was stunning, done up she looked at least 18 and oozed accidental sexuality and I don't think she knew, its scary really. Funny that as a porn star I should worry so much about the early sexualisational of children but I think its sad that they all look like mini trendy adults these days or 'prosti tots. I took alot longer than most girls in my year to grow up, maybe because I had my pony so had better things on my mind but jeans and jophers were all i ever wore. It took till I was 17 for me to really care about dressing up and then only when I was going out. I didnt ware make up till I was 19 and did my first shift as a lap dancer, and I only put that on because the manager made me. Men have it so hard trying to work out who to chat up, I am so glad this only affects me half the time. Oooh do you want to see a sexy lady?

Her name is Melanie, she is from the US show - So You Think You Can Dance. She is just soooo cute, I would lesbian the shit out of her. i think its because I cant that i find girls who can dance so attractive and she is adorable. I was a bit miffed as my favorite pair of  dancers were voted out in place of a girl I think the judges are unfairly pushing this week but so long as Melanie is there I will be watching.

Its funny that particular family has come up in passing on here, as I was talking about them yesterday and realised that we had lost contact. That's quite a normal thing to happen, I am really bad at staying in touch with people. Its not that I stop caring and loving them, I'm just a very bubbled  person, if its not in my here and now I tend to forget. My best friend from infant school Anna, is my best friend because we can forget to speak to each other for years and when we do its as if we only saw each other just the day before, where as some people can really get the hump. But i think there might be more to this one as I have made several attempts to make contact via text and have heard nothing. When I lived in Derbyshire, where I met the oldest daughter, it was very bleak lonely isolated place and the family took us in - the little kids loved Poppy. I used to take them all to see Bert and we even spent a Christmas there. The father was away at that time and it was around the time he re showed up that things changed. Not obviously but we were all due to go on holiday and it was all planned till I got a call saying they couldn't afford it. I managed to get a fab deal done so we could cover the cost and we were on again before it was sheepishly announced that her husband had surprised the family with a surprise holiday the same week. We haven't heard much since. The thought was put in my head that maybe he just wasn't comfortable having his kids around someone who did porn - could that really be it or is it just a lack of time? I don't get why people are so funny about porn stars and children. I understand that a teacher working at a high school wouldn't be a good idea, as she would lose her authority, or at least change the relationship balance if the kids found out, as it is a very raw personal thing watching someone have sex. But little kids don't watch porn so wheres the danger - do people expect that people who are so happy to have sex cant help themselves and will attack the kids? Or that some how the kids will pick up on the same sexual open vibes and grow up to be sex workers? Most of the people that read my blog aren't in porn - whats the answer, why do people have such a problem with porn stars and kids?

Before I get on with the bit of the blog you actually want to read, I will just quickly confess that in my chocolate needy haze I have just gone on line and ordered me some carb free chocolate and biscuits which should arrive in the next 3 working days! I'll let you know if its enough to satisfy! Either way it means I will have a package to open and you know how excited I get when I get interesting looking things to open in the post! I may have said in another post, but to stave off boredom, one of the girls who worked at the estate agency with me used to wrap me up presents like cubes of chocolate, staplers, pens etc just because she had as much fun wrapping them as I did opening them!
A while back I used to make sure I had cheap items on my wish list so my little sister could send me silly 50p presents to open and I used to do the same for her - we're such big kids!

OK back to the blog - I have just got back from a fairly busy few days in LONDON TOWN (its in bold so you can imagine the amazingly poor east end accent I  just used to say that). I did a shoot for a Dutch company on Thursday and then on Friday I went to a mini family 60th birthday party, which I have some great footage to share with you from. Then on the way home yesterday I met up with Satine and we did some stuff for Tenga Girls, some new pictures of me for her agency books and a shoot for escort magazine. Satine has gone on a mini holiday visiting friends around the South of England but as soon as she is back and hands over the pictures I will share all I promise.      

This shoot was almost my perfect shoot! I love school girl stuff and in this scene I really got to take on a good role. Being one of the poor kids I was supposed to be allowed to get my new hockey stick for just £15 but my psycho hockey teacher decided she needs the full £65 and throwing my money to the floor gets her moneys worth out of me! When I started to cry she saw my mascara and because make up is banned, draws red lipstick all over my face as punishment! It was fab, I loved every minute of it and promise to try and track down where this video turns up but it could take a while as this was done through an agency. when the video started I was genuinely stunned for the first few minutes as when we did the pictures we giggled all the way through and I didn't think she had a mean bone in her body but she got well into it. Half way through we stopped to sort some technical things out and we had a hug to prove we were still friends.

Goodness what along post sorry. Thanks for sticking with me, there are 44 of you now! Thank you all so so much for checking in with me, I love you all.

Masie xx