Wednesday, 29 September 2010

A day trip with Satine

Last Friday I finally had an excuse to meet up with Satine again and it was a real treat, despite the early start. I picked her up from Northampton which gave us lots of time to catch up and talk about the finishing touches to our web site on our way down to Sussex. We were heading to Claire and Paul to shoot for their new transvestite themed site.

As someone who grew up with a massive crush on Eddie Izzard this was right up my street and the fact that we were greeted by a table set for afternoon tea, including cake and biscuits sealed the deal.

In the first scene my 'boyfriend' came clean about being a transvestite and transformed into his alter ego 'Lisa' with our help. This was not only a real giggle - we go to gossip and drink tea and call it work, but the girl who did the makeup was amazing and very patient as we all insisted on watching her work in search of tips.

Next we did a gonzo scene where we painted a males toes and talked about bringing him out. I'm not sure if it convinced any men to crack open the tights but it defiantly brought out my OCD side, each toe had to have a different colour and both feet had to match SATINE!!!

Finally we caught Satines twin brother eyeing up her wedding dress (I know I was shocked she had one to) so forced him into it, shoes, garters, bra and all.

'Lisa' was kind enough to lend Satine her hair so if you have been sat at home wondering what she would look like with red hair you are in luck. 

This is where our easy day ended. Despite finishing early thanks to the M25 (seriously Londony commuters how have you not gone mad) it took us nearly 4 hours to get back to Satines. By the time we gave up and went to a services to eat we were in danger of eating each other. We settled on a Burger king instead which defiantly helped to pick our spirits back up (lets hear it for sugar) although I'm sure the burgers have got smaller.

I dropped Satine off then headed on to find a poorly Bert in need of cuddles and food. 

Monday, 27 September 2010

Berts Very own Blog

My poor horse Bert has not had alot of luck this month so I am giving him his very own blog post to cheer him up. He has a poorly liver which means he is ill throughout the summer, so much so that he was supposed to die this year, meaning we made the difficult decision to leave him behind when we moved up to Leeds - so he would be with all his friends should he go. Enter our last ditch effort Sophine Ostler. She is a horse healer who came out at the beginning of the summer. I will be honest I thought I had pissed my money away on a very lovely quack but this year he didn't get sick. His weight did drop but he didn't get any of the ulcers that usually plague him and more interestingly he stopped kicking the shit out of the farrier. Here is her link, if the vets say there is nothing more they can do, its probably worth a try.

I have been really looking forward to the cold weather so I can start riding again (as he gets bored knocking about the fields) but sadly he has been on a run of throwing shoes and he now has an abscess in his foot making walking very painful. He is on his medicine now and secretly he quite likes being poorly as he gets alot more attention. Here he is soaking his poorly foot in hot salt water, while he has his breakfast - not many horses would let you do this, Bert just likes to be pampered.

He is also benefiting from treats such as extra apples, polos his food filled football and turnip on a rope - this takes him along time to eat but keeps his brain active. Last year when he was very ill we hung apples on a rope but 3 hours in we had to help him, it was very funny but we were worried he might knock himself out. 
Get well soon Bert. xx



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Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Thursday, 16 September 2010

Our day trip to Kendal

As promised here are some pictures from our trip to Kendal on Tuesday. We had an early start and it proceeded to chuck it down with rain the whole way there but it was still a really fun day and John was a joy to work with. Have you seen the film twister? It was a bit like that but instead of chasing hurricane's we were chasing sun shine.

The first location was fabulous, when we got on the beach we were met with blue sky's and sun shine - Poppy had the time of her life running up and down the beach her waggly tail was in over drive. Because of how the tied had come in by crossing a couple of large pockets of water we ended up with the whole place to ourselves and as some one who is now trapped in a city my heart just burst with the joy of all that natural space! I was able to run up and down the sand dunes, pick up shells on the beach and I got to be a mermaid!



From the beach we attempted to go to a lake to get some pictures of me swimming with some famous mountains in the back ground. However the thing about large hills is that they tend to attract rain and it chucked it down. It not only rained but the fog cut the tops off all the hills we wanted to shoot and as the lake was so flooded there was no sane way in so we abandoned that idea.
We tried to take a few snaps futher up the bank but it was sooooo cold and there was no way of making it look like a nicer day so they didnt really work.

We gave up and parked for lunch, where I had a yellow bikini painted on me! This was my second first of the day and it was the strangest thing. I obviously new I had no clothes on and felt very much naked and it was really hard to get out in such a public place to have my picture taken. It wasn't until I saw the pictures that I realised how clothed I look!

Finally we went in search of a water fall - following some frantic scrubbing with lemon squash and napkins to try and get rid of the now yellow tint my boobs and pussy had taken on.

It was a nice walk up to the little fall and Poppy was really enjoying herself again. We found a section of the river that was partly sheltered with trees and bushes which is just as well as it started to rain as soon as I got in. Luckily because of the energy in the water it had a little heat in it as other wise it was freezing! This was what I like to call an Americas Next Top Model moment. There are often shoots where they have to over come fears of animals or heights etc and they have to suck it up to get a good picture. So I sucked it up and came up with this.

Poppy didnt !

Strangely it was when I put my cloths back on that I was most cold, it was so nice to get back to the car and a hot chocolate.
Me and Poppy called in to my little sisters on our way home where we were introduced to wee fit (Which was hilarious) and stuffed full of chocolate.
All in all god day. x

Monday, 13 September 2010

Some thing for the Squaddies

I just got the loveliest e-mail from nameorgasums telling me that the clips I did for them were up and running. Luckily for you naughty lot they liked them so much that they have made one of them a sneaky free treat of a sample. - do any of you know any one in the army who might need cheering up?

This is a really fun site, you can send personalised messages to people you know or indeed to yourself. As fun as it is watching a women having an orgasm surely it can only get better if she is screaming your name at the time?

I'm sorry I haven't written for a while, I am happy to say that I have been quite busy booking and doing work. I am very excited about tomorrow, I am doing an out door nude shoot in Kendal with an amazing photographer from Scotland. Its due to be a very cold shoot but Poppy gets to come along so it should be a fun day out for all - pictures will surely follow. xxx

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

My Porn Blog for Paul Taylor

Paul has stuck it up so quickly. If for som reason reading my endless ramblings on here isnt enough for you then now you can hear me banging on in person.

Paul was so easy to talk to I ended up saying far to much and a few things I probably shouldnt have said bit its done now. I will stress that although we talk about the dark side of porn in my 2 bad experiences there have only ever been 2 and I freaking love this industry and everyone in it and around it.

Let me and Paul know what you think. xxxx

Monday, 6 September 2010

Been a busy few days.

Alot has happened over the last week and a half, so much so that I have been putting off writing it all down.

Firstly and tragically it is my sad task to announce the death of Victor, aka 'the dream car'. We were driving to work last Saturday when he started to splutter. He shook and struggled on, suddenly jumping through the shakes before losing power and coming to a slow halt on the hard shoulder. I loved that car, I named him after a grumpy old man as he tended to grumble alot. Sure the roof didnt meet the car and the doors had bends that left the cold in but it was perfect for me. Last year during all the snow, Victor helped me through. In the summer it was fun driving around with the tent of a roof off and the flames meant that everyone knew who I was around here, which pleased my ego massively (and prevented me from getting angry behind the wheel in case anyone felt like getting revenge).  It was a bit beat up but I just trash nice cars being messy suits me and it was perfect for going to the stables in. The RAC (who were fabulous) said that a part of the engine had come lose and shot through the rest of it so he essenitally had a massive heart attack. He now needs a new engine which would cost more than he will ever be worth. I will get around to scrapping him next week but I just cant quite bring myself to do it yet.

The RAC man stayed with me while the truck to take us back to Leeds arrived as it was cold and a bit drizzly. He said it had made his day getting to rescue a porn star and I let him pick my dirty brain while we waited. (There is a porn scene begging to be made there)

So over the next few days the quest for a cheep workable car started. This proved to be harder than I had first thought as every car I called up about had already gone. This is officially my new pet hate - people who dont take their adverts down once an item has been sold but still sound grumpy when people phone up asking about it.  It didnt help that for the first time in my life I had no idea what I wanted to get and I was still feeling very grumpy about having to give up my 4x4 especially because I couldnt find any for sale. I ended up going to Sheffield and picking up Nel, my little Honda Civic. It doesnt feel like my car but will do me till I can find something better. Poppy loves it as she has so much extra space in the back.

With a new set of wheels I was able to get down to Milton Keynes and the lovely Saracen House for a b/g spanking shoot with the ever cheeky Leo Pops for Peter Kay. It was a fab shoot (especially because it didnt start till 2pm so I got to lie in). It felt like a bit of a long drive because Nel doesnt have a radio aerial and I dont like cds very much - if anyone has a spare DAB radio they want taking off their hands speak up now.

I was an office worked who was supposed to be meeting her boyfriend (Leo) for a shag at lunch time but had been told I had to watch the empty office instead. When he comes to pick me up he convinces me to give him a blowjob at my desk to make up for this. One thing leads to another and we end up having sex everywhere, on the desk in the chair on the floor. It is while Leo is ragging me hard from behind that my Boss walks in. The Guy who played my boss was an absolute legend. I have no idea how old he was but he was one of the big engenieers on the Hurricanes and came out with some fab one liners. In order to keep my job I let him order me naked and lay over the table for a spanking while I sucked Leo off - good times for all!

From there I drove down to Derbyshire to feed my horse and get ready for my office job in Cheshire feeling like things were on the up again. That night someone broke into the house in Leeds again! I was glad I wasnt there but equally I felt so guilty to have missed it all again (as this is the second time since we moved in). They had fished the keys through the letter box. The dog massivlly redeemed her self this time by waking up and having a good growl. Our stairs are blocked off from the living room by a door making a nice echoing corridor. This meant that as Poppy barked her way down stairs she will have sounded like a much bigger dog and she succeeding in scaring the little shit out of the front door. The bad news is that he got away with my hand bag (which sadly had some camera cables in it but luckily no camera) Wils wallet and the front door key. While Wil was sat waiting for the police another older lad came back and started to open the front door. Will opened it for him and told him to Fuck off while Poppy went balistic (im very proud of my house guarding team). So as well as as a new £600 car this week I have now had to shell out £130 for new front door locks. Yay!

To round off the week I have been busy shooting for my Southern charms site, and I am sending off all the paper work right now, I'll be sure to poke you when its live. I had an interview with Paul Taylor this morning for his porn blog. It was not only lovely to talk porn with someone for over an hour (especially porn that has me in it) but was really nice to find out that he had people send in questions to ask me. A BIG thankyou goes out to the three of you, it made me feel wanted and special, it was the perfect way to put an end to my run of bad news. xxxxx

Sunday, 5 September 2010

Green Fingers

I was very proud of myself this week as my gardening came to fuistion. I have been killing plants (not on purpose) since leaving home and following the brutal kidnapping of my mini cactus a few months ago had all but given up on anything ever lasting to flower again.

Im the sort of person that likes getting parcels through the post, its the opening I find exciting, so long as there is nothing offensive inside I am more than happy. I used to work as an estate agent and inorder to keep me from boredom (and there was alot of this) Gemma used to wrap chocolate squares into complex little presents for me to open. So when the BBC announced they would send me free seeds I applied straight away.

Now look what I have - 

My french beans will be ready today and my carrots are still looking very carrotty. I have enough Basil to last an over enthusiastic Italian chef a year although Chives I cant grow, Parsley yes Chives no.

The only trouble I had with my bountiful harvest is that I dont like Crochets. No one I know seems to like them, I couldnt give them away. I was feeling a bit down not knowing what I could do with them till I remebered what I am.

  Who knew gardening would be so much fun.
In all seriousness nce the idea to use them for good came in my head I ran off a naughty vie ana few more dirty pictues which I will stick up next mont and I promise to stick a link up. xx

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Spicing things up in the bedroom

We had spicy egg fried rice for dinner last night, chef sat in the living room chopping the veg and chillies ready for the rice that was sat steaming on the hob. Fast forward ten minutes to me being accosted on the stairs on route for a quick pre dinner bath. Sex on the stairs is always a good thing, there's something wonderfully naughty about having sex in a none sex designated zone .He ripped my jeans off, slammed me down on my back and slid his cock straight up inside me. If we had left it there we would have been fine. However sexy genius here decided it would be fun to taste herself off his cock. While I licked it clean, he bent down to finger my already sopping pussy. There’s something about me that inspires people to tease me so rather than slip his cock straight back in, he stood and wanked his penis for a while just looking at me. It was around the time he started pounding my pussy again that he suddenly stopped and said, 'oh no'. Oh no, is the last thing you want to hear during sex and I immediately thought he must have cum, because I was very very wet and these things happen. That was not it however. He hadn’t washed his hands since chopping the chillies and was starting to feel a slight burn. Sexual urge outweighed logic and we decided he was probably imagining things and we kept on, with Will exploding all that lovely cum all over me. Then it hit!

I once did a shoot where I had to rub deep heat on my pussy before padlocking my pants back on and humping a saddle. At the time I thought that was the most painful thing my pussy would ever experience, as I vowed never again. I was wrong.

It didn’t hurt to start with it just felt warm and unpleasant. As I had been so wet and we had been accentually rubbing the chillie in while we fucked no amount of washing seemed to bring ease as by then it was safely locked into the skin. I couldn’t wait for the bath to finish running, as soon as there was enough water to cover my poor pussy I dived in and started to scrub. Hot water by the way when mixed with burning chillie raises the temperature for a few seconds, (yay). Poor Will had to run into the bathroom twice to try and cool his poor cock down.

As painful as it was we couldn’t stop laughing, if I’d been able to do more than just giggle and bath id have got a camera. It was a good dinner though.

So the lesson is ALWAYS wash your hands after preparing chillies! - unless you like that sort of thing anyway. :o)